Not So New

Whoever said, "40 is the new 30!" is either mentally retarded or a man.

As I grow out of my thirties, I'm quickly realizing that my health duties have to change.  I need to pay more attention to my mind & body...and it's limitations.
In my twenties, I could live on three hours of sleep, a cup of coffee and air.  If I were to try this now, I would probably be imprisoned for murder.

I've been feeling like crap (for lack of a better word) for months now.
At first I thought if was just stress due to my Grandmother's passing and some other 'drama' going on in my personal life last summer.  But as it turns out, it's hormonal.  At least, that's what I think it is based on endless Google searches like, feeling like crap, feeling dizzy and irritated, women who want to hurt people for no good reason etc, etc.

After a couple months of suffering with the dizzy spells and lack of energy, I went to see a doctor (my family doc is on mat leave so I met with her replacement) who quickly surmised that I'm having Estrogen problems.  Basically, I'm unbalanced. 
Her solution?  Monitor my symptoms, take notes and if I don't start feeling better in a couple of months, come back to see her and she'll put me on the birth control pill.  That's her solution. 
No mention of managing my stress levels, no mention of diet & excercise.  'Just go on the birth control pill and leave me alone' is what she's thinking.
'Quack!' is what I'm thinking.

Of course, I look for natural ways to balance myself out and I find it with the help of an Aunt who is a holistic nutritionist. 
I'm downing ten different vitamins and supplements a day but it seems to be working.  I still feel unbalanced sometimes but not nearly as much as I did a few months ago.  I feel more in control.

I never wanted to be one of those women who blabber on endlessly about their hormone problems.  And I certainly never thought I would have hormone problems in my thirties - I thought I would only have to deal with that when Menopause comes knocking.
However, as we all know, life is unpredictable so here I am, writing about hormone issues.

A lot of women struggle with symtoms like dizziness, irritability, nauseousness and just a general feeling of being 'off' your game'.  If you're feeling this, start researching hormone levels and just how important they are to your overall health.  You will be amazed.

So, during times of strife, I like to drown my sorrows in situation comedies.
One of my favourite TV shows is The New Adventures of Old Christine. 
At the end of season 3, Christine starts to feel unbalanced and tired.  So she goes to her doctor who tells her she's starting to go through early Menopause.  She refuses to come to terms with it because it makes her feel old.  But her symptoms become unbearable so her friend Barb, gives her some 'lady cream'.  It's really just testosterone cream.

Here's what happens when we get too much testoterone, ladies - take notes! 

Postponing Grief

So the holidays are upon us.  It doesn't take long, does it?
Every December I say things like, "I can't believe it's Christmas!  Feels like the summer just ended!" and "Where did this year go?".  That's one of my favourites.
Where did this year go? 
I can tell you what I was doing all year: working.

When my dog died a couple years ago, work was my savior. I poured everything I had into my career not just because I love what I do but because I wanted to limit the time in my home as much as possible.  Everthing in my home reminded me of him.  From the front door where he would stand, tail wagging when I came home to that corner of the living room where his bed used to be.

After awhile, it got easier to be home without feeling sad.  His presence has faded a bit over the past year but the memories are still here - only the good ones. 
The last year of his life was quite difficult.  He was very sick and I had him in doggie diapers for over a year because I refused to let him go.  It was a really stressful time.
When he passed away, those memories were fresh and hurtful - I never thought I would have to struggle to recall them.  But now I do.  It's funny how that happens.  When someone we love dies, we don't remember the difficult times for long.  It's like a blessing the grieving process gives us.

My Grandmother died on October 14th and thus far, I have not fully mourned her.  I haven't even taken a day off work.  I'm afraid of mourning forever once I get started.  I'm afraid that I'll only remember the last three years of her life; sitting in a wheelchair in a convalescent home barely recognizing her family. 

So like any good Capricorn, I've thrown myself into it my work, hoping that it will be my savior again.
But I know it won't.  I'll have to get over the bad memories so I can get to the good ones. 
I'm not ready for this yet.

When life throws you the heavy stuff, you can either accept and deal with it or....you can postpone.
I prefer the latter.

A Controlled Environment

Lately, I've been working in a pressure-cooker.  Normally, during times like this, I go into 'Control Mode' and attempt to micro-manage everything and everyone around me.
But the sad truth is, I'm finding it hard to care. 

There comes a point in everyone's career that makes them feel this way. You know, that feeling like no matter how hard you work, shit happens so why care so much?
For me, I think it has a lot to do with age and the fact that I want to start focusing on more than just making billion-dollar companies even more money than they could possibly ever need.  In other words, I want to shake-off my 'Workaholic' label.

I wrote a while back about the pitfalls of working at a management level, ie. managing people.  But it's not just managing your direct reports that causes headaches, it's managing the relationship with fellow managers/colleagues. 
There is absolutely no course in school that can prepare you for dealing with fostering relationships with your colleagues.  It's something that you learn over time.  It's something that you need to work at every day (much like your personal relationships) to ensure a positive work environment.  And it's the key to success for both you and the company you work for.
Am I good at this?  Kind of.  Although lately, I feel like I'm losing my edge and I feel the Control Freak building up inside of me again.  I'm trying hard to keep it at bay.

I'm going to start planning my next vacation - travel always has a way of settling my nerves.  And maybe, just maybe, I may start caring again.

Blog Flaking 101

It's been so long since my last post, I forgot my password!

But I have been writing - promise!

Good Help is Hard to Find

I've always worked extremely hard at my career and after many years, I'm finally getting recognition.  Not because I'm the best at what I do but because I entered the right company, at the right time.
Don't ever roll your eyes when someone tells you, 'Timing is everything' because it really is.

However, that wasn't the only factor helping me on my road to success---I work my fucking ass off. 

So, now that I've reached a point in my career where I'm getting recognized and rewarded, I must also have to wear the big, ugly hat of managing people.

In case you're new here, my favourite saying is;  I hate people.  Can you see my problem?  I much prefer firing people than hiring them.
However, I think my main problem is, I don't know how to convince my boss that it would be easier to clone me than to find good help nowadays.


The young people of today (you know who you are!) are good at two things:

1. Asking for a salary that does not match their experience just because some over-priced University gave them a piece of paper that says they did stuff for four years
2. Waiting to be lead rather than taking the lead

I guess the problem is, they came from the Helicopter Parent Age.  You know, the Mom or Dad that fight every battle their child will ever have.  The parent who thinks it's ok to call their child's manager to ask why their son or daughter didn't get the raise they 'deserved'. 
Scary, isn't it?

Well, get used to it because this is the future.

Moms

So it's Mother's Day which doesn't mean much to me since I no longer speak to my Mother.
However, I wished my Grandmother a 'Happy Mother's Day' since she's really the only Mother I've ever known.

Remember:
Moms come in all different packages....and situations.

Happy Mother's Day to all you deserving Moms out there!

Calmness

Sure, you're quiet now but for how long?
How long can I keep you under my shaky thumb?

Sometimes I think of you when I've had a stressful day or feel the need to invade a drawer full of sugary snacks. 
Your voice is still there but you're speaking very low, I can barely hear you.  That's good.

It's been awhile and you're probably thinking I miss you about now, just as things in my life are about to get even more hectic.
You're thinking I'll come back or that your voice will be heard again but not this time.  Not right now.

While the picture of my busy future comes into focus, I worry about being able to handle and juggle life without you.
I worry about not having what it takes to keep you at bay..it's exhausting just thinking about it.

But I must prepare myself to do battle with you again (someday) because you're never going to be gone...for good.

The Last Five Weeks

“I don’t know where the time goes!”

My Grandmother used to say this when she forgot something.  I used to roll my eyes at her when she used this excuse for forgetting to call me on my birthday but now, I know what she meant.  Keeping track of time sucks and is rather time-consuming. 

So here’s what I’ve been up to since my last post about 5 weeks ago(!):

Week 1

Worked + finished eating/drinking what was leftover in the fridge from the holidays + crying over my dog a lot (the holidays were a harsh reminder of his absence)

Week 2

Worked + had a birthday that I tried to forget but EVERYONE remembered it this year! I hate people

Week 3

Worked in San Francisco (ok so I worked a bit and mostly shopped) + met a bunch of boring people at a conference

Week 4

Worked + Worked harder to catch up on all the emails/issues I missed from the week before + started up on my French lessons...again + rediscovered a French song that I used to listen to over and over again--it's still so awesome

Week 5

Worked + trying my absolute best to finish up seeing all the movies nominated for an Oscar (pathetic I know but it’s a habit I can’t break)

Notice that writing was not on this list?  It's because I haven't touched my novel in ages....

The Writer's Block is back for awhile but will eventually leave again, once I finish kicking the shit out of it.

Happy New Year!

Wishing you all a very happy new year....all good things are coming our way in 2011.  At least, that's what my crystal ball says.

Sheri
xo

Europe: The Final Chapter

You know that saying, "What are you waiting for? Christmas?"

Here's the final chapter of my trip--finally making the time to post! oy!


After the crappy time I had in Venice, I couldn't wait to get to Roma.



View from my hotel's rooftop terrace


Ruins:
It can't be avoided; when in Rome, must see ruins.

The Colosseum

The Pont Sant'Angelo:

I'm convinced that the person who designed this bridge knew that one day, there would be such a thing as cameras.  Seriously, you don't even need to try to get a good shot of these statues...it just happens, naturally.

Leading to the Castel Sant'Angelo, this decorated bridge was built in 134AD and it's still beautiful.  I guess some things do last forever.

I must have walked up and down this bridge for over an hour.  It's just so pretty.



My most favourite part of Rome; The Borghese Gardens...it's like walking though the pages of a storybook.

My hotel was across the street from these GORGEOUS gardens so I had a nice stroll after breakfast each morning.  Unforgettable.

Some other 'hot spots' around Roma:

I'm sure you all recognize this one; The Trevi Fountain

The Vatican

Piazza del Popolo

Part of the stunning fountain at the Piazza Navona (one of my favourite spots)

See that 'Torrone' gelato? The best Torrone gelato I've ever had.  It was so good, I forgot to look at the name of the place as I was walking out.  Criminal!  But, I'm sure I'll sniff this place out again if I ever go back to Roma.

It's a huge city and I have a ton of photograph's---hope I've highlighted some intersting places for you! 

I highly recommend a trip to the Eternal City.

(Btw, I've finally obtained a great biography on Michelangelo and can't put it down!)

Amazon Link

Paris

After Rome, I flew to Paris, the last leg of my journey.  A girl can't go to Europe without stopping in one of the most amazing cities on the planet.

This time, I stayed in the Montmartre neighbourhood.  Historic, full of culture...and coffee houses--my idea of the perfect 'hood'.

Basilique du Sacré-Cœur, smiling down on Paris from her home in Montmartre

Really, it doesn't matter how many times I visit Paris, I will always, always find something new to see and new reasons to love this city.

Europe: Part 2, Italia!

I meant to post this last weekend but staying true to form, my life remains ridiculously hectic.
It's actually been really nice to blog about Europe because it doesn't even feel like I went on vacation--real life quickly clouded my memories of the trip.

So, enough with the whining....

Firenze!

After spending four relaxing days in Amsterdam, I jetted off to Florence, Italy--first stop on the 2010 Italia Tour.

View from the top of Duomo Santa Maria Del Fiore

Now, I have a lot of Italian friends and just about every Italian I know told me that Florence is their favourite city in all of Italy.

And I can finally see why.

This city has the perfect mix of elegance, style and history yet it's so modern.  It is also home to the most incredible works of art on the face of the earth. 

The Neptune Fountain in the Palazzo Vecchio

If you thought you loved art before, you will be totally enamored with it once you visit Florence; art is everywhere...you can feel it, taste it, smell it buzzing around as you walk through the streets. 

I spent my second day in Florence in the two main museums; The Uffizzi and The Galleria dell'Academia, home to the David.
Now, this is one negative about Italy:  you can't take ANY pictures in the museums!!!  Ugh. 
The Galleria where David is located is guarded closely---security everywhere.  I witnessed a grown man being scolded by a security officer because he attempted to take a picture of David with his camera phone.  At that moment, I decided not to risk it and put my phone back in my purse.
Italian art security officers are badass.

The memories of what I saw (and I saw a lot of amazing art from Michelangelo to Botticelli to Carravagio) will just have to live in my memory.

The Galleria dell'Academia: I thought it was interesting that most of Florence's buildings and monuments are so eleborate but the most iconic piece of art in the world is housed in a simple building (an art school) on a crowded city street.

Images from the museum's photo gallery. 

David is a hottie.

Santa Croce: resting place of Michelangelo, Galileo, Machiavelli...just to name a few.

On my last day in Florence, I decided it would be fun to walk up the steps of the Duomo. 

It didn't turn out to be that fun (500 steps!) but I did get some lovely pictures of Florence and Tuscany.  Plus, I burned so many calories that day, I allowed myself 2 gelato's instead of the typical one-a-day.

I love the sound of church bells.  I took a video as I was walking to the entrance of the Duomo, church bells ringing.
(It was a windy day and I'm no Spielberg so please forgive me)

The Palazzo Vecchio & the Ponte Vecchio (Florence's oldest bridge):

I just loved this area of the city, despite the crowds.  It really is extremely beautiful and well-preserved.

During WWII, some of the buildings around this bridge, on the right, were demolished.  However, the bridge remained untouched because Hitler loved it so much and ordered his troops to do as little damage as possible.  The fucker had taste.

The shops along the bridge were originally butcher shops but Cosimo I forced them to stop throwing the scraps of meat into the river because it was stinking up the city.  He then made a rule that only gold was allowed to be sold on the bridge because with gold, there is never any waste to worry about.  To this day, jewelry stores are the only kinds of shops permitted to sell on this bridge.

The Palazzo Vecchio (now city hall) & Piazza Della Signoria (an open-air scuplture gallery--some originals, some copies) house some of the most beautiful sculptures I've ever seen as well as Mr. Neptune (2nd pic from the top)

Check out the buns on this guy

A copy of David.  He's all over the city but the original is at the Academia.

My absolute favourite statue: a bronze Perseus.  A waiter in a resaurant nearby told me that the artist, Cellini, almost burned down his house making this statue.  Made me love it even more.

Of course, the first thing I did when I got to Italy was EAT. 

My first meal: a cheesy carb overload!

This pizzeria (Pizzeria Funiculi, via Il Prato) was a few blocks from my hotel--the Italian Gods were smiling down on me the night I arrived (very late) because I was starving and they were open late. 

I loved my time in Florence and I can't wait to go back.  I took so many photos so it was really difficult to narrow down for the blog.

So, I'm kind of obsessed with Michelangelo lately (Florence does this to you) and I'm currently on the hunt for the best biography.  If you've read any, please send me your recommendations! 

Venezia!

From Florence, I took a train to Venice which took about 2 hours--no time at all.  In fact, I'm glad I didn't fly in because the airport is off the island. (However, I did have to fly out of Venice to get to Rome)
The main train station in Venice (Santa Lucia Station) let's you off directly onto the island so it's a lot more convenient.

Now, some of you may want to stop reading this if you've always dreamed of going to Venice; I'm about to write some not-so-nice things about this city.

When I was a little girl, I used to admire this picture that my favourite, jett-setting Aunt had hanging in her bedroom.  It was of her, sitting at a cafe in Piazza San Marco in Venice, looking all 70's fabulous.  I used to dream of the day I could go to that same cafe, sit and drink coffee, look fabulous and feed the pigeons.

Then one day, Madonna decided to make a music video in Venice which only deepened my obsession with this city, blue spandex and lions.

So, imagine my surprise when I got to Venice and all I kept thinking about was how great Florence was and when I could get to Rome.

It was a bitter disappointment and I was so happy that I only booked 1.5 days.

First off, only go to this city if you like throwing your money away--it's stupid expensive.  And trust me; I'm not cheap, I'll spend my money but 80 euros for 40 minutes on a Gondola was even too steep for my lavish spending habits.  Oh, and then there was the water taxi to the airport; 100 euros for a 30 minute ride. Price gouging at it's absolute best.  Of course, it didn't help that the exchange rate was $1.40 CAD at the time.

I think my favourite rip-off was the 45 euro breakfast buffet in our hotel. 
Would rather go hungry, thank you.

Some other issues:
Piazza San Marco was not white.  Well, I guess it used to be sparkling white (how it appears in the movies) but when I was there, the walls were covered in this black stuff--probably pollution...?
(You can't really see it in this picture but you'll see it in the video coming up)

I think my biggest turn-off was the tackiness.  I felt like I was in Vegas---way too touristy and way too many restaurants displaying pictures of food.  I know what pasta looks like, you don't have to show me.  In fact, this is a clear indication to me that I should not be eating in your establishment.

And they had these guys selling fake designer handbags along the beautiful waterfront. 

Look how pretty it is?  Why would the city allow this?  So tacky.

However, it wasn't all bad.  This city does have it's charms....you just have to leave the touristy areas to find them.

And I did get to go to that same cafe that my Aunt went to...but I'm pretty sure she didn't have to pay $8 for a cup of coffee.

And I did happen to find a great pizzeria that served the best pizza I ever had in my entire life so I guess my time in Venice wasn't a total bust.

However, would I go back to Venice?  No. 
If I had to do it over again, I would have extended my stay in Florence and just do a Venice day trip---you can see most of this city in one day.

Next blog post: ROMA!



Europe: Part 1

Since my Simon passed away, things haven't been easy and of course, my writing has suffered tremendously. 
I can't remember the last time I wrote a word towards my novel.  Sigh.
But, I'm slowly making my way back to the joy I used to feel for writing.  It didn't hurt that I took 2 weeks off in October to do a mini tour of Europe. 

I started my trip in Amsterdam and then on to Italy---> Florence, Venice & Rome ---> ending my tour in Paris. 
Five cities in two weeks = never again.  I'm too old for this shit but it was wonderful, nonetheless.

Amsterdam
I was a bit skeptical about going to Amsterdam only because I heard so many varying things about it over the years. 
I pictured a floating city with a bunch of weed-induced zombies having orgies. 
However, all skepticism went out the window the moment I laid eyes on it.

It's stunning.

I never thought a big city could be this relaxing....and no, I wasn't smoking!  I was sober.  And relaxed.  Imagine that?
I'm already thinking about my next trip there--that's how much I loved it.

What was my most favourite thing to do in Amsterdam?
Ask men for directions to The Red Light District.  They all blushed and claimed not to know where it was.  Ha! 

One of the best ways to relax in Amsterdam (other than smoking) is by taking a boat ride along the many canals.  It's also the best way to see the city.
I took two canal tours while I was there (4 days) and took some of the best photos of my life with my crappy little camera.

Can you see the world's narrowest house?

------

If you're a fan of The Diary of Anne Frank, a trip to Amsterdam isn't complete without seeing her home, now a museum.

It was very special to see and hear the surroundings that Anne described in her book.  I'll never forget this.
However, I was torn on taking photos as it made me feel insensitive, for lack of a better word.  It's difficult to describe the feeling.



This is my favourite picture because it was taken on my last day. I sat on that bench for a couple of hours and ate my lunch while enjoying the sun:

Check out my video--even the pigeons are relaxed in Amsterdam!

Next blog post: ITALIA!